Round 2 Predictions

And here we go! Round 2 predictions for the 2011 Stanley Cup Playoffs

WEST

Vancouver Canucks vs Nashville Predators
This is by no means going to be the gutwrenching dramafest that Chicago-Vancouver was... I hope. I'm out of ativan, I can't take another epic battle like that. Nashville is a determined defensive team. They remind me a lot of the Minnesota of the past and lord knows the Canucks had trouble with that. But this is a new Canucks. And if they can ride the moment of the last win and harness mental power of banishing their demon (Hawks) then this should be a surmountable task. Mr. Underwood is no match for Mr. Kesler. Weber is their biggest threat but our D is more than one person deep and if they ALL (I'm looking at you Rome and Glass) work their hardest they'll be able to contain him fairly well. Plus we all know that SOB is a lose cannon. And Burrows as well as the rest of the Canucks know what buttons to push to set O'Brien off. If he takes stupid penalties (a given) we can capitalize.
Puckbunny predicts Canucks in 6.

Detroit Red Wings vs San Jose Sharks
I want this to be a big, grueling battle. I don't even care who wins in the end as long as it goes to 7 and both teams have to perform to their fullest to get a win. Why? Because I see both teams as a formidable opponent for my Canucks and I want whoever wins to be weary, weak and as depleted as possible. I think in the end, Detroit will win. Because if history teaches us anything it's that the Wings never ever give up and the Sharks always at some point do.
Puckbunny predicts Detroit in 7.

EAST

Washington Capitals vs Tampa Bay Lightning
I want Tampa to win. Yes, I am a Penguins fan and they just tore my heart out but the fact is, if the Pens had to go down it's better they go down to someone who doesn't just turtle in the next round. Makes the loss that much cheaper. And besides if the Caps were playing the Devil himself, I'd be in the stands with a pitchfork and horns. Anyone over the Caps. Anyone. That said, the Lightning aren't going to win this, sadly. Realistically they don't have the offensive power or the defensive strength that the Caps have. Well they do have it, but it takes them too long to capitalize on it. The Caps play fast and furious. The Lightning playing more of a thinking man's hockey, taking time to set stuff up and holding back more than rushing. It won't pay off like it did against the Pens (who were already exhausted from just making the post season with a injury-depleted roster).
Puckbunny predicts Caps in 6.

Boston Bruins vs Philadelphia Flyers
Boston just beat their arch nemesis and now have to face last year's demons. Not an easy ride. And their cheap shots and dirty plays are going to be equally matched by a team that wrote Cheap and Dirty Playbook. Difference is, Flyers also have some tried and true scoring talent (Briere). I think it's going to be a battle but I see Philly doing what the Hawks did to Vancouver last year - repeating history.
Puckbunny predicts Flyers in 6.

Round 1 Recap

Sigh. This was one hell of a bumpy ride for fans of just about every team in the NHL Playoffs. There were 14 Overtimes - 2 of them in Game 7 between the most heated rivalries of the Round. Here is my recap of Round 1 of the 2011 Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Best Series
I have say this is a tie between the Canadiens-Bruins and the Blackhawks-Canucks. The games between the Habs and Bruins were much closer and more of a dogfight every night which made it exciting. However, the Canucks falling asleep in Games 4 and 5 and bringing their series against the Hawks to the brink of complete collapse and then grinding it out in OT in Game 7 makes it equally as compelling.
I guess if you put a gun to my head I would have to say the Canucks-Hawks was the best series, but I was at Game 7 and I'm a Canucks fan so.... my fiance (A Habs fan) would argue I'm sure.

Worst Series
I guess the Coyotes and Wings was a bit of a disappointment. I expected more of a fight from the Yotes, after all they had put up a much bigger one last year in the same match-up. Coyotes had it in them, but just couldn't find it in time. Honorable mention should go to the Anaheim - Predators match-up because anyone with a white hot scorer like Corey Perry should have advanced.

Best Playoff Beard
Another tie here. First I have to give props to Dan Hamhuis of the Vancouver Canucks (see top photo). He's got a beautiful baby face normally but the addition of a little scruff (that grows much more evenly than other baby faces like Sidney Crosby) makes him uber-sexy.
The person who ties him - Jordan Staal. Why? because he's Jordan Freaking Staal and with the Pens gone, I won't be able to say his name again on this blog so... Jordan Staal. But seriously folks, he went from zero to Amish in 7 games - and made it look hot. If you can make Amish look hot, you win Best Playoff Beard. End of Story.

Worst Playoff Beard
Shea Weber. The dude already looks like he's part sasquatch. It scares me. By the end of the 2nd round his whole face will be hair. He's going to have to shave eyeholes so he can see.

Biggest Irony
Vancouver Canucks GM Mike Gillis bitching to the media about the refs not calling penalties thereby not giving his team enough Power Plays. Game 7 - Canucks get a Power Play and Jonathan Toews scores a shorthanded goal. That's Irony at its painful best folks.

Biggest Hero
Hands-down Alexandre Burrows of the Vancouver Canucks. What makes him the biggest hero is that he also almost became the biggest goat. He scores the first goal, then failed to score in a penalty shot, takes a penalty in OT, scores the winning goal. He should get his own damn Disney movie.

Biggest Goat
Anti Niemi. Yes the Sharks advanced but it wasn't from his lack of his trying to stop them. He was pulled twice in 3 games. He also had the worst save percentage (.863) of any starter in Round 1, and a lame 3.99 goals-against average.

Dirtiest Team
Let's be honest, there was a lot of dirty hits in all series. Too many. Torres, Bickell, Kunitz, Downie, etc. But the team that, in my opinion, played the dirtiest every night - with consistency - the Boston Bruins. I have never seen one team take so many dirty shots. A shoulder to the head, another face into the stanchion, and even a middle finger to the crowd. The only thing sicker than watching them play like that was watching their Rabid Ostrich of a captain chug a freaking coca-cola in the middle of the game. Barf.

History did NOT Threepeat Itself

We did it. I know this is only round one – at least it appears that way on the outside. But Canucks Nation and the players themselves know that beating the Hawks – is MUCH more than a first round victory. It’s a 3 year battle and we’re finally victorious.

The demon has been exorcised. The monkey is off our back. We did it.

There were a lot of brave words. A lot of confident tweets and tough talk but let’s be honest fans… we were all freaking terrified. We all knew they could do it. We just didn’t know if THEY knew they could do it.

Turns out while my tweets might have been bravado and hope, the Canucks words were truth and fact. For them it was just another game. One they knew they could win.

They came out hard and strong. They were physical and aggressive. And they never not once appeared or seemed defeated. I have to admit the irony was not lost on me when Mike Gillis complained about the lack of power plays and then Toews goes and ties it up shorthanded (on one of our power plays). It was clear to me right then the Hockey Gods had a sick sense of humor.

My Top 5 Moments of Game 7

1) Kesler owning Toews. I know people are complaining Kesler wasn’t scoring goals. But he was doing something else – he was containing Captain Serious. He was also checking the crap out of any Hawk he saw. He was attacking the puck. He was owning the zone. He was setting Burrows up. He was taking pucks to the head. Most importantly he kept his temper in check and was playing cold, hard smart hockey. He was a WARRIOR.

2) Alexandre Burrows – what can you say? He was the best of the game, he was the worst of the game. He was the game. I own a Burrows jersey. It’s my only Canucks jersey. I chose it for 3 reasons – We’re from the same suburb of Montreal. He’s a yippy chirpy guy and I love snarky plaayers. And last but not least when he gets angry or upset, he gets even. Burr may chirp or take a penalty but he also produces. Tonight was textbook Burrows.

3) Reliving the Gold. I wanted to go to the Gold Medal Olympic Men’s hockey game more than I wanted anything else in the world. I guess the Hockey Gods decided to give me a reenactment. I can say thanks now, but when the clock hit 1:56 and Toews shorthanded it past Luongo, I wanted to kill myself. As I waited impatiently for the break to end and OT to start I found myself staring at the stairs of Rogers Arena. They are still painted in the pastel blues and greens of the Olympic theme and then I realized…. Lu’s done this before. My confidence in our goalie swelled like the Grinch’s heart after that. And then Burrows pulled a Sidney Crosby and I screamed and cried. I actually cried.

I have a problem with Lu-haters who get angry that he said this felt better tha a gold medal. Put yourself in his pads people. He didn’t lose the Gold medl two yearsstraight to Team USA (he wasn’t even in goal when they beat us the first time in the series). But he DID have his playoff runs decimated 2 years in a row by the Hawks. Of course this feels like a bigger conquest. I more well-earned victory.


Top 3 Quotes
“I wanted this game more than the gold medal. Not to take anything away from the gold medal, its something really special" - Kesler

“This one might be better than the Olympics.” – Luongo

“I just want to thank the guys for killing that penalty early in OT.” - Burrows

Honorable Mention
Corey Crawford. The kid is a warrior. A king. A beast. The Hawks should be very proud and very happy that this guy is there’s. This was his first rodeo and he almost school the best team in the league. He is the single solitary reason we didn’t blow them out of the water in both Game 6 and 7. He stood on his head. I have to give him nothing but props. Great job Crawford.

On a personal note
A million thank-yous to my amazing friend Christy, who when she won Game 7 box seats, invited me to go with her. It was honestly the best hockey game I have ever seen live and in-person in my life. Truth. Christy, you are a rockstar. Thank you.

Now who wants to join me for a round of drinks at The Roxy? Shane O’Brien , I’m looking at you…..

Dear Vancouver Canucks

Dear Vancouver Canucks,

When you hear your fans bitching and moaning and the media crucifying you I want you to understand why. We’re confused. We don’t understand this at all. It's making us sad, scared and depressed.

What pisses me off and makes me feel sick to my stomach is that you, Vancouver, don’t just lose a playoff game, you completely and utterly meltdown. You implode. You disintergrate.

If these losses were 3-2 or 5-4 I wouldn’t be this panicked or this upset. A 7-2 loss and a 5-0 loss are worse than the collapses the Rangers and the Kings have suffered so far this round – where they give up 3 or 4 goal leads. The reason? At least the Rangers and Kings showed up. You, my dear sweet Canucks, may as well not have left the dressing room for game 4 and 5 against Chicago.

I don’t coach hockey – never have. I don’t even play hockey – never have. Hell I don’t even sleep with hockey players (shocking, I know) so I admit I have absolutely no insight on how this type of all-encompassing breakdown in mental and physical play can happen to a team that won EVERYTHING and NEVER gave up on ANYTHING for 6 months.

(If anyone has a logical explanation for why this happens to the canucks, please – I am begging you – enlighten me.)

I don’t want to pick on Kesler or Burrows who are yet to produce this series. I don’t want to pick on the Sedins who have been better than last year but that just means they’ve been sporadic instead of non-existent. And I don’t even want to pick on the defense – mostly because I was taught not to talk ill of the dead. And I definitely do NOT want to pick on Luongo. I just don’t. It's not about one performance - you're a team - and you need to start playing like one again. So if Kes doesn't score, Hansen does. If the Sedins don't check, Oreskovich does. If Burrows misses a shot, Edler nails the rebound. You remember those days don't you? We do, because it was just last week!

But I will say this to you my Canucks....

After getting blown right out of Game 4 you all went to the media and said the fans were panicking needlessly. That the world was not ending. You didn’t expect to win the cup 16-0. That fans and media were being irrational. The loss was "not a big deal"

You made me feel bad for doubting you, despite your history. So I bit my lip and believed in you. Trusted you. I was confident and excited at puck drop for Game 5.

So now YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME CANUCKS: getting blown out of Game 5 - AKA not showing up for 2 games in a row - THAT is a BIG DEAL.

You need to wake the hell up and figure out where your regular season mojo went and get it back – NOW. No more of this crap. The Hawks are not better than you. They’re just trying harder. They aren't winning the games - YOU are losing them! That means you have no one to blame but yourself. So FIX IT.

I believe you can win this series. But I also believe that if you fall apart like this in Round 2 or Round 3 or (please Hockey Gods) the Stanley Cup Final – you won’t get a chance to bounce back.

So figure it out now, kick the Hawks asses, and don’t do it again. Okay? Okay.

Thanking you in advance,

Me.

2011 Round One Playoff Predictions

THE EAST

Capitals – Rangers
On paper this prediction makes me crazy. And to be honest I jumped back and forth with this one. The Caps had the better season. But the Caps always have the better season and are yet to perform at that level in the post. The Rangers work harder and are used to fighting for their lives. Just like Montreal last year, that type of gumption and unrelenting fortitude will undo the Dirty Russian and the rest of the Caps.
Rangers take it in 7

Flyers – Sabres
Flyers will murder the Sabres. They’ve got more talent and experience. Not that I care either way, which is why this synopsis is so short. I refuse to care about the Flyers. I’m hoping if I ignore them, they will go away. (Yes, I’m a 12 year old).
Flyers take it in 4

Bruins – Canadiens
This one is hard for me. According to my Hab-obsessed fiancé, the Canadiens have only fallen to the Bruins 7 of the 24 times they’ve met in playoffs. But my burning concern is Carey Price. He’s been known to turtle under pressure and Halak is not there to save him, or the team when they start slow like they tend to do. But I will throw caution and fear to the wind and go with my fiancé and my other Habs guru – my dad. My dad says Habs in 5 so I say Habs in 5. Let’s hope father knows best.
Canadiens take it in 5

Penguins – Lightning
This one is probably the biggest guess of all, theoretically. The two teams have never met in playoffs before. I know some people are saying it’ll be Lightning because Stamkos and Lecavalier aren’t playing against Crosby or Malkin. But they ARE playing Kennedy and Staal. Talbot and Kunitz and most importantly Marc-Andre Fleury. Penguins have shown all year that they don’t hang their hope on The Kid and Russian Frankenstein and that won’t change in post. They’ll grind and dig and shoot and push and Flower will stand on his adorable French Canadian head.
Penguins take it in 6

THE WEST

Canucks – Blackhawks
First things first, if this was a shirtless player competition, Kesler would annihilate Kane. (See photographic evidence to the right) But since it’s not I have to use different logic and here it is: Canucks aren’t the team they were in previous years – they’re better. On top of that, and maybe more importantly – Hawks are not the same team. Sure they still have Kane and Toews but gone is they’re giant, annoying secret weapon against the Canucks – Dustin Byfuglien. Sure they’ll stick the next fattest person they have in Lu’s face but Lu has tweaked his style, sitting back farther in his crease. Most importantly, the Vancouver Canucks’ mindset is a very different beast this year. Canucks come back from behind, push through bad losses and never give up until the final buzzer. The Hawks, without head games and big fat Buff, won’t threepeat raining on our parade.
Canucks take it (finally!) in 5

Sharks – Kings
This one is simple for me. Sharks all the way. Although they do, like clockwork meltdown at some point in the playoffs, it won’t be against the Kings. The Kings have raw talent in Quick, Doughty, Simmonds and Stoll but the key word is “raw”. LA won’t have the emotional aptitude to be a real threat to a bunch of veterans who are no strangers to this dogfight.
Sharks take it in 4

Red Wings – Coyotes
I want the Coyotes to win this. But they won’t. The Wings have age as both an asset and a deficit. It means they’re like to suffer injury and exhaustion before other teams, but it also means they’re players play smarter than a team stack with youngins’ like the Yotes. Although Coyotes will put up a might good fight because they are young and tough and because they’ve played the Wings in playoffs before. But in the end, even without Zetterberg, the Wings will prevail.
Wings take it in 6.

Predators – Ducks
This is the hardest match-up in the West for me to predict. The Predators are a defensive wall. They shut down and wear down their opponents. The big question is will they be able to do that to Corey Perry, one of the hottest streaking scorers in the league? I say yes. Barely but yes.
Preds take it in 7

3 Things More Exciting than the Canucks - Preds

I’ve been wracking my brain all day long to try and find some really interesting and exciting facts about the Nashville- Vancouver game that occurred last night. But honestly? There isn’t any. The game was, IMO, the most boring one of the entire season.

I don’t want to talk about how the Sedins seem to be in a coma-nap, Kes is slumping, Samuelsson has lost his edge or anything like that. We all know this. It’s not news. And I personally would rather see them play like this in regulation than in playoffs so I say slump/sleep your way through March Canucks, but make sure the alarm is set to wake you up in mid-April. I don't care about the President's Cup. I want the Stanley Cup.

Since the only exciting things I could think to write about the Canucks-Predators game was the ref spraining his ankle and the cute little Maxime Lapierre/Shane O’Brien sandwich that happened in the corner of the boards, I’ve decided instead to write about the Top 3 Things Happening Last Night That Were MORE Exciting Than the Canucks Game

1) Jordan Staal got his hair cut
Yes that’s right. Last night Jordan Staal got rid of all that blonde, crazy winged madness he was calling hair. It’s unfortunate, as I was just starting to become obsessed with it. Staal's hair not only poked and popped it's way through every helmet or hat he wore, it also defied gravity. It stood straight off his head at 90 degree angles (even after 3 periods of sweaty hockey) and sometimes even appeared to actually be growing upward. Anyway, I’m fairly certain that the hairdresser who got to restructure that pretty mess had way more fun than anyone watching the Canucks game.

2) Ovie Tweeted
I followed him because I will follow ANY NHL player. Yes, I’m a twitterwhore. And although the Dirty Russian is one of my least favorite NHLers, I have to say I’m digging all his tweet pics, like the one of Phil Kessel sitting by himself during the All-Star draft. And the picture he tweeted last night of himself and Alexandre Semin celebrating Semin’s birthday – in an empty room with nothing but 3 helium balloons - looked more exciting than the Canucks game.

Side note: Between Ovechkin’s return and Charlie Sheen’s arrival my twitter feed now gives me the heebie jeebies. I don’t follow Sheen but everyone is tweeting his #winning #tigerblood crap so much that I feel like I follow him. If you’re THAT into Charlie Sheen and his f*ed up life philosphies, then get off twitter, go cover yourself in cocaine and sparkles and glue yourself to his vision board.

3) The Leafs beat the Flyers
This is not so much exciting as it is a sign of the apocalypse. But I find it worth mentioning because the monumental event means Canucks – despite being as exciting as a librarian on Ambien – are still first overall in the league.

Here’s hoping that the Canucks drink Red Bull before the LA game tomorrow.

Why Can't Athletes be People Too?

Phoenix Coyotes winger Paul Bissonnette recently made an appearance on Howard Stern’s Sirius XM station on the Scott Ferrell show. He did what any good guest on the Howard Stern Network should do – he talked about getting laid. Yes that’s right sex. With women. God forbid.

As I was driving home tonight I heard Ferrell losing his mind. Now I turned it on in the middle of his rant but from what I can tell after Bissonnette’s honest, refreshing and entertaining interview irate listeners started emailing the Coyotes franchise complaining they were offended.

Can I just take a moment to touch on the fact that if you are listening to the Howard Stern Station and you are offended by words like sex, pussy and tits – you are clearly an idiot. Now let’s also briefly mention that if you spend 20 or 30 minutes of your life composing an email of complaint instead of taking 1 second of your life to put yourself out of your own misery and change the channel you are a self-loathing, miserable, douche.

Now to the real heart of the matter - Paul Bissonnette should not get grief for his interview. Not from the Coyotes or the NHL or fans of hockey. He's not a liability to the league he’s an asset!

Bissonette’s on twitter and, unlike 90% of the other NHLers on there, he’s not afraid to use it. Biznasty2point0, as he goes by, has over 45,000 followers. Ryan Kesler, a forward with the number one team in the league only has 21,000. Michael Grabner a scoring machine and hottest rookie in the league right now has 7,000.

So why does a 4th liner on a bankrupt team in the desert have more followers than NHL poster boys? Because he’s honest and interesting. I started following Biz on twitter because people kept retweeting his tweets and they were funny. I was pleasantly surprised he was an NHL player. And I’m willing to bet there’s a good number of his followers that are discovering the NHL because of Biznasty’s twitter. So you should thank him, Bettman.

How many more cocktail waitresses does Tiger Woods have to bang before we realize that professional athletes who make millions a year are doing exactly what ANY of us would do with that money, talent and fame – enjoying it.

It’s so ridiculous to me that there are still people out there that expect athletes to be these immaculate versions of human beings.

Remember when Tiger Woods cheating hit the media? Remember how he handle it with rehearsed, vague, inoffensive and insincere statements? Remember when David Letterman was caught cheating? Remember how he just went on the air and admitted he’d done it, it was a screw up and his wife was pissed? Did you know David Letterman’s ratings shot up after that?

Clearly people appreciate honesty & candor. So I can't be the only one who realizes that if we not only allowed these celebrities and athletes to be normal human beings but also embraced them for it, we'd all be better off.

The NHL loves Sid the Kid as the face of the sport not just because he’s the best player in the world but because of this squeaky clean public persona. It’s the one part of him I don’t like. I mean, not that I’d kick him out of bed for it or anything, but Sidney’s scripted, bland interviews are not nearly as engaging as Biznasty waxing poetic about girls in yoga pants.

I’m sure Sidney Crosby is an actual human being when the cameras are off. I’m sure he sleeps with women and gets drunk and does all the things that any 20-something male with a giant paycheck and a very pretty face should do. But I appreciate Paul Bissonnette for not being afraid to publicly be what we all know (but won't admit) professional athletes are – women-loving, partying, opinionated, normal people.