Round 1 Recap

Sigh. This was one hell of a bumpy ride for fans of just about every team in the NHL Playoffs. There were 14 Overtimes - 2 of them in Game 7 between the most heated rivalries of the Round. Here is my recap of Round 1 of the 2011 Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Best Series
I have say this is a tie between the Canadiens-Bruins and the Blackhawks-Canucks. The games between the Habs and Bruins were much closer and more of a dogfight every night which made it exciting. However, the Canucks falling asleep in Games 4 and 5 and bringing their series against the Hawks to the brink of complete collapse and then grinding it out in OT in Game 7 makes it equally as compelling.
I guess if you put a gun to my head I would have to say the Canucks-Hawks was the best series, but I was at Game 7 and I'm a Canucks fan so.... my fiance (A Habs fan) would argue I'm sure.

Worst Series
I guess the Coyotes and Wings was a bit of a disappointment. I expected more of a fight from the Yotes, after all they had put up a much bigger one last year in the same match-up. Coyotes had it in them, but just couldn't find it in time. Honorable mention should go to the Anaheim - Predators match-up because anyone with a white hot scorer like Corey Perry should have advanced.

Best Playoff Beard
Another tie here. First I have to give props to Dan Hamhuis of the Vancouver Canucks (see top photo). He's got a beautiful baby face normally but the addition of a little scruff (that grows much more evenly than other baby faces like Sidney Crosby) makes him uber-sexy.
The person who ties him - Jordan Staal. Why? because he's Jordan Freaking Staal and with the Pens gone, I won't be able to say his name again on this blog so... Jordan Staal. But seriously folks, he went from zero to Amish in 7 games - and made it look hot. If you can make Amish look hot, you win Best Playoff Beard. End of Story.

Worst Playoff Beard
Shea Weber. The dude already looks like he's part sasquatch. It scares me. By the end of the 2nd round his whole face will be hair. He's going to have to shave eyeholes so he can see.

Biggest Irony
Vancouver Canucks GM Mike Gillis bitching to the media about the refs not calling penalties thereby not giving his team enough Power Plays. Game 7 - Canucks get a Power Play and Jonathan Toews scores a shorthanded goal. That's Irony at its painful best folks.

Biggest Hero
Hands-down Alexandre Burrows of the Vancouver Canucks. What makes him the biggest hero is that he also almost became the biggest goat. He scores the first goal, then failed to score in a penalty shot, takes a penalty in OT, scores the winning goal. He should get his own damn Disney movie.

Biggest Goat
Anti Niemi. Yes the Sharks advanced but it wasn't from his lack of his trying to stop them. He was pulled twice in 3 games. He also had the worst save percentage (.863) of any starter in Round 1, and a lame 3.99 goals-against average.

Dirtiest Team
Let's be honest, there was a lot of dirty hits in all series. Too many. Torres, Bickell, Kunitz, Downie, etc. But the team that, in my opinion, played the dirtiest every night - with consistency - the Boston Bruins. I have never seen one team take so many dirty shots. A shoulder to the head, another face into the stanchion, and even a middle finger to the crowd. The only thing sicker than watching them play like that was watching their Rabid Ostrich of a captain chug a freaking coca-cola in the middle of the game. Barf.

3 Things More Exciting than the Canucks - Preds

I’ve been wracking my brain all day long to try and find some really interesting and exciting facts about the Nashville- Vancouver game that occurred last night. But honestly? There isn’t any. The game was, IMO, the most boring one of the entire season.

I don’t want to talk about how the Sedins seem to be in a coma-nap, Kes is slumping, Samuelsson has lost his edge or anything like that. We all know this. It’s not news. And I personally would rather see them play like this in regulation than in playoffs so I say slump/sleep your way through March Canucks, but make sure the alarm is set to wake you up in mid-April. I don't care about the President's Cup. I want the Stanley Cup.

Since the only exciting things I could think to write about the Canucks-Predators game was the ref spraining his ankle and the cute little Maxime Lapierre/Shane O’Brien sandwich that happened in the corner of the boards, I’ve decided instead to write about the Top 3 Things Happening Last Night That Were MORE Exciting Than the Canucks Game

1) Jordan Staal got his hair cut
Yes that’s right. Last night Jordan Staal got rid of all that blonde, crazy winged madness he was calling hair. It’s unfortunate, as I was just starting to become obsessed with it. Staal's hair not only poked and popped it's way through every helmet or hat he wore, it also defied gravity. It stood straight off his head at 90 degree angles (even after 3 periods of sweaty hockey) and sometimes even appeared to actually be growing upward. Anyway, I’m fairly certain that the hairdresser who got to restructure that pretty mess had way more fun than anyone watching the Canucks game.

2) Ovie Tweeted
I followed him because I will follow ANY NHL player. Yes, I’m a twitterwhore. And although the Dirty Russian is one of my least favorite NHLers, I have to say I’m digging all his tweet pics, like the one of Phil Kessel sitting by himself during the All-Star draft. And the picture he tweeted last night of himself and Alexandre Semin celebrating Semin’s birthday – in an empty room with nothing but 3 helium balloons - looked more exciting than the Canucks game.

Side note: Between Ovechkin’s return and Charlie Sheen’s arrival my twitter feed now gives me the heebie jeebies. I don’t follow Sheen but everyone is tweeting his #winning #tigerblood crap so much that I feel like I follow him. If you’re THAT into Charlie Sheen and his f*ed up life philosphies, then get off twitter, go cover yourself in cocaine and sparkles and glue yourself to his vision board.

3) The Leafs beat the Flyers
This is not so much exciting as it is a sign of the apocalypse. But I find it worth mentioning because the monumental event means Canucks – despite being as exciting as a librarian on Ambien – are still first overall in the league.

Here’s hoping that the Canucks drink Red Bull before the LA game tomorrow.