The Return of Sidney Crosby

My thoughts on the return of Sidney Crosby. I actually took half the day off work so I could catch the entire game. Didn't want to miss a minute of Crosday!

The Isles "win" the Sidney Crosby Lottery
When they first announced Crosby would return against the Islanders the only thing that I could think of was the Pittsburgh bench with 4 players on it. You know, last year when the Isles sucker punched Max Talbot and concussed Eric Tangradi and Brent ‘MoFo’ Johnson decided to beat the snot out of Rick Depietro. Yeah that. I mean sure the Isles, who have yet to win an away game this season, seem like a easy win but it made me nervous.

Captain Canada
So I hear this title goes to Ryan Smyth but until BOTH CBC and Versus interrupt regularly scheduled programming to nationally feature Smyth returning from an injury, I will continue to call Sidney Crosby Captain Canada. And I would argue that most of the NHL would too. Yes he’s The Face of The Game but he’s not just the NHL poster boy he is the face of Canada in the game as well. Sure the league is dominated by Canadians but Sid IS this eras Great One. He is Canada’s most famous active hockey player.

The Game
On his first shift he almost gets an assist and on his second he scores. Crosby screamed "FUCK YEAH" and NHL fans everywhere echoed that sentiment. He went on to play seconds short of 16 minutes and get 4 points. More importantly than his large point tally, his presence elevated the Penguins game as a whole. Not only was their much more fire under all their skates but things like their struggling Power Play was improved. Even after such a long absence Crosby showed patience and remained unselfish setting up many teammates including Orpik and Malkin (Malkin numerous times, only one of which he scored on.)

As for contact, Sidney took an easy crosscheck but that was about it. The real test will be when he plays teams with more grit like Montreal or teams with less morals like Boston.

The Take Away
Ovechkin is a lazy douche. Yes, that’s what I am taking away from this. So many people for the last several years have debated who is better Sid or Ovie. Sidney Crosby’s injury left the door wide open for Alexandre Ovechkin to run away with the league. Literally. Ovie could have owned the league in scoring, in assists, in penalty minutes - in ANYTHING. But he did absolutely nothing of value. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Zip.

Let’s face it, Ovechkin has 15 points so far this season. If Crosby averages 4 points a game he will pass that in 4 games. There is no debate. Sidney Crosby is a better hockey player than Alexandre Ovechkin. End of story. The only debate is why. Is Ovechkin simply not as skilled or is he just incredibly lazy. Discuss.
(The answer is both)

3 Things More Exciting than the Canucks - Preds

I’ve been wracking my brain all day long to try and find some really interesting and exciting facts about the Nashville- Vancouver game that occurred last night. But honestly? There isn’t any. The game was, IMO, the most boring one of the entire season.

I don’t want to talk about how the Sedins seem to be in a coma-nap, Kes is slumping, Samuelsson has lost his edge or anything like that. We all know this. It’s not news. And I personally would rather see them play like this in regulation than in playoffs so I say slump/sleep your way through March Canucks, but make sure the alarm is set to wake you up in mid-April. I don't care about the President's Cup. I want the Stanley Cup.

Since the only exciting things I could think to write about the Canucks-Predators game was the ref spraining his ankle and the cute little Maxime Lapierre/Shane O’Brien sandwich that happened in the corner of the boards, I’ve decided instead to write about the Top 3 Things Happening Last Night That Were MORE Exciting Than the Canucks Game

1) Jordan Staal got his hair cut
Yes that’s right. Last night Jordan Staal got rid of all that blonde, crazy winged madness he was calling hair. It’s unfortunate, as I was just starting to become obsessed with it. Staal's hair not only poked and popped it's way through every helmet or hat he wore, it also defied gravity. It stood straight off his head at 90 degree angles (even after 3 periods of sweaty hockey) and sometimes even appeared to actually be growing upward. Anyway, I’m fairly certain that the hairdresser who got to restructure that pretty mess had way more fun than anyone watching the Canucks game.

2) Ovie Tweeted
I followed him because I will follow ANY NHL player. Yes, I’m a twitterwhore. And although the Dirty Russian is one of my least favorite NHLers, I have to say I’m digging all his tweet pics, like the one of Phil Kessel sitting by himself during the All-Star draft. And the picture he tweeted last night of himself and Alexandre Semin celebrating Semin’s birthday – in an empty room with nothing but 3 helium balloons - looked more exciting than the Canucks game.

Side note: Between Ovechkin’s return and Charlie Sheen’s arrival my twitter feed now gives me the heebie jeebies. I don’t follow Sheen but everyone is tweeting his #winning #tigerblood crap so much that I feel like I follow him. If you’re THAT into Charlie Sheen and his f*ed up life philosphies, then get off twitter, go cover yourself in cocaine and sparkles and glue yourself to his vision board.

3) The Leafs beat the Flyers
This is not so much exciting as it is a sign of the apocalypse. But I find it worth mentioning because the monumental event means Canucks – despite being as exciting as a librarian on Ambien – are still first overall in the league.

Here’s hoping that the Canucks drink Red Bull before the LA game tomorrow.

Winter Classic was a Wash

I appreciate the idea of the Winter Classic. On paper it’s a beautiful concept. 2 National Hockey League teams bringing the game back to its simplest form. A wholesome tribute to the roots of the sport. So why do I feel ripped off, cheapened and frustrated after watching it?

After a long sleepless night these are the top three reasons I could come up with.

I’m Just a Hockey Commissioner Standing in Front of a Country Asking It to Love Us
Gary Bettman and the NHL make it glaringly clear that they don’t care about the roots of the sport. They aren’t trying to display the beauty of hockey in its simplest form. What they are trying to do is make America watch more hockey. The Winter Classic isn’t for the fans. It’s for the non-fans. Because Gary Bettman wants Hockey to be America’s Game, not Canada’s because Americans mean more money. This is why you will never see a Canadian team in the Classic – Canadians already watch hockey and NBC isn’t going to buy the rights to a Canadian dust up.

I fully understand that money needs to be made to keep the league going but I also think that good authentic hockey is enjoyable and viewable and can make the NHL that money, no matter which teams are playing. The Commissioner of the National Hockey League clearly doesn’t have that kind of faith in hockey. He obviously believes that the only way to attract new American fans is to highlight “American” teams and sensationalize and dramatize the crap out of it with slick advertising and an HBO documentary. (Have to give him props on the HBO thing because 24/7 is amazing. He, inadvertently I’m sure, made true hockey fans very happy with that).

Maybe what Bettman and the NHL spin doctors should be working on is educating Americans to the fact that just because a team is based in the USA doesn’t mean the players on that team are American.

When Canada won Men's Hockey Gold I had an American friend from California say “Yeah well you did it with our players. Most of your team is from San Jose and Doughty is from LA.” Clearly the NHL should teach future US fans that you can watch a Canadian team and still find an American to root for.

Is it impossible to think that if Bettman let a Classic between the Vancouver Canucks and the Montreal Canadians happen that NBC wouldn’t be able to twist out some American Dream story about Ryan Kesler or Brian Gionta? By the way the Canadiens have more Americans (6) on their roster than the Washington Capitals (5) and only 1 less than the Penguins (7).

Yes, Ovie and Crosby are a rivalry and I get making them a Winter Classic once, but the Pens have been in this New Year’s Day game twice. And a Canadian team has never been in it.

A Winter Classic between Montreal and Boston could beautifully highlight the history of the NHL, the roots of the game, and bring the emotion and conviction of a true, honest, lifelong rivalry into the homes of Americans.

Never Dumb It Down For Your Audience, Even If they Voted For Bush - Twice
I have American relatives and American friends and I know that there’s a pretty large amount of US citizens that are not as dumb as a puck. After watching NBC’s coverage of the Classic, I am insulted for them. Well, to be completely honest, I only watched about 7 minutes of the NBC broadcast. I changed the channel from NBC to CBC right after the NBC announcer said “Sidney Crosby… from Nova Scotia. You’ll notice a C on his jersey. That means Captain.”

Even if I could let that go – which I really, really can’t – the constant tweets about the craptastic camera angles NBC was showing would have had me switch feeds. The Top Tweet when you click on the WinterClassic hashtag is this from HockeyBacon: “I’ll admit the Winter Classic is great for hockey because it attracts the non-fan. For instance, the guy who is directing the NBC cameras.”

I mean seriously, did NBC want to air this or did they lose a bet? Cuz they clearly dialed it in.

Americans are a sports-loving nation. They understand what a penalty is, a team Captain, a goalie and they know the guys in black and white are called referees. Hockey is unique in a lot of ways but the basics of the game isn’t much different than lots of other sports. Give them some credit. They didn’t need a colorful circle around the puck and they don’t need blimp-views with ant-sized players.

America Wants You to Hug It Out, Bitch
By hyping it to no end and making the Winter Classic into this dramatic, sensationalized monstrosity the new, and the old and stupid, fans of hockey believed that this was more than just a regular season NHL game. But it wasn’t. It’s not the playoffs or the Stanley Cup Final. It’s just a game that happened to be played in a different location than the usual arena. It still counts in the season’s standings.

I bring this up because people were losing their minds on the Penguins for not shaking hands at the end of the game. But NO ONE shakes hands at the end of a regular season game. If you’ve read my blog it’s fairly clear I am a Sidney Crosby fan. But even if the Pens had won I wouldn’t expect anyone to shake hands.

Repeat after me folks “It’s a regular season game”

If it was exhibition, or All-Star or Playoffs shake hands, high five, hug it out, whatevs. But the Penguins just lost 2 points at home, affecting their standing and ultimately possibly their playoff ranking. If Ovechkin and his Capitals had shook hands with every team that beat them – or even one team that beat them – during their 8-game losing streak then you’d have a case. But you don’t.

Repeat after me, “It’s a regular season game.”

And for all those incredibly mature grown men out there who spent last night calling him Cindy Crosby and screaming that “He” didn’t shakes hands, media outlets around the world – even Washington – acknowledge that NEITHER team attempted to shake hands. Crosby doesn’t control the universe, you just think he does.

The teams that played the 2011 Winter Classic were the first to have a true, strong established rivalry and the game ended in a very tense state. If there had been a bench brawl I wouldn’t have been surprised. No one wants to shake hands after that. If you're that traumatized by it, see a therapist.

In the end the only thing I’ll miss about the Winter Classic is the HBO 24/7 Road to the Winter Classic show. The rest of it from- the hype, the game, the handshake and most definitely the ice - was a wash.

Verbal Slapshots of 2009-2010 Season

A small collection of some memorable quotes from players, coaches and hockey gurus. All quotes happened between August 2009 and August 2010. And yes, it's Canadiens-Canucks-centric because that's who I love, so deal. I mean, enjoy!

1) "I want to be in Toronto for a long, long time. I'd like this to be my last job in hockey. I just hope it's not after the next month or two." Brian Burke after the Leafs began the season 0-6-1.

2) "I can't complain because I was trying to sucker-punch (Alex) Burrows. It's karma." Canadiens forward (at the time) Gregory Stewart after being asked if he was upset about being sucker-punched by Vancouver Canucks defenceman Shane O'Brien.

3) “I pretty much have one comment and maybe I'll regret it. But they can go fuck themselves. That's what I really think.” Canucks Mikael Samuelsson after being left off the Swedish Olympic team for the 2010 games.

4) "I met a couple of homeless guys on the street who know who I am. If a homeless guy
knows his hockey, then you know you're in Montreal." Canadiens, Hall Gill.

5) "I am day-to-day with hurt feelings." Chris Pronger after he was asked how he felt after a game loss during the 2010 Stanley Cup Playoffs.

6) "I hate them (Canadians). It's a big rivalry. I wouldn't say I hate them; you have respect for the other team. Canadians expect to win the gold, and anything less is not good enough. It's going to be fun to try and knock them off." - Vancouver Canuck Ryan Kesler when he was playing for Team USA in the 2010 Winter Olympics. (I love it because a) it spawned this. and b) In the end Princess Ryan wasn't happy with anything less than Gold either. So HA! )

7) “Not as much as people think. I think he's got a natural kind of grease to it.” Bieksa on how much product Canucks goalie Robert Luongo puts in his hair to get it to look shiny.

8) "They gave me the belt at the parade so I was looking forward to having that thing all summer. We went out that night and I gave it to someone to wear and I haven't seen the thing since." Chicago Blackhawk Patrick Kane on the Heavyweight belt that the team passed around after each game during the playoffs. (Proof that the Hawks are retarded and Patrick is their King. ;-))

9) "Halak was, in every way, the "feel good" story of the season for the Canadiens. Nothing is engraved in stone, but he was everybody's biggest hope for the team to do even better and go farther in its 18th rebuilding year." Famed Sportscaster Red Fisher on the Montreal Canadiens' trading Jaraslov Halak.

10) "I thought we had a good chance to win the Stanley Cup this year. And I would have bet my house that they wouldn't have beaten us three games in a row and we would have only scored three goals in almost 140 shots." Washington Capitals coach Bruce Boudreau after losing in Game 7 of Round 1 of the Stanley Cup playoffs to the Montreal Canadiens.

It's all Fun & Games until Someone Loses an Eye

I was going to write a light-hearted cheery blog about hockey rivalries - but then this weekend happened. More specifically, Ovechkin's hit on Campbell and Downie's hit on Crosby happened.

I'm not going to lie I absolutely adore a good hockey fight. I went to the Ottawa - Vancouver game Saturday night and was thrilled to see Rypien go at it with a Senator. And as Rick skated towards the penalty box and lifted his arms asking for more cheers - I gladly gave it to him. Rick Rypien is a goon. Burrows is a pest, like the notorious Sean Avery. These players serve a purpose in the game both for entertainment value and for point scoring and more importantly penalty killing reasons. And whether anyone wants to admit it or not, a good clean dust-up can change the momentum of a game. It gets the players juices flowing and the fans’ as well. But let me make this clear - fights aren't the problem.

Fights are 2 players acutely aware of what is going on and fully engaged in the act. Hits like Ovechkin's and Downie's are blatant attacks without warning and thanks to the league, with little or no consequence.

You can see Ovechkin's hit on Campbell here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14oUVVTY05s
You can see Downie's hit on Crosby here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsJtvXPhqXE

Ovechkin’s hit garnered a penalty, which turned instantly into a game misconduct and now a 2 game suspension. But Downie’s hit garnered (so far) nothing more than 2 freaking minutes in the box. WHY? If I had to go lean on someone it would be – and I hate to admit it – Ovechkin. He didn’t extend his arms and it seems that he didn’t intend to cause bodily harm, but just wanted to give Campbell a shove. Steve Downie intentionally and maliciously tried to physically injure a player. You can blatantly see him move his knee behind Crosby’s.

That said, I don’t think either of them should have gotten off easy. Both hits were dirty, by payers with a history of dirty moves. The only difference in these two hits was the physical results.

Campbell was taken out of the game, his season most likely ended. Miraculously, Crosby didn't suffer a devastating injury and was back skating later in the game. But if Downie doesn't get some kind of suspension for this hit then what the NHL are saying is that bodily harm is all that matters. And if that's how they want to run the league, then they can't go screaming a horrified "foul" when there's another Bertuzzi-Moore neck breaking moment. You can't complain about the results when you ignored the warning signs.

Colin Campbell is ruining the league with his arbitrary and nonsensical idea of discipline. Essentially the stand he's taken is akin to a judge in the legal system saying "Yeah, you intentionally tried to shoot your wife, but you missed so no need to punish you!"

What blows my mind more than anything is that the viewpoint seems to be widely accepted... until the unthinkable happens. The announcer (from Tampa Bay) in the Crosby clip actually says Downie was just "finishing his check". I commend Florida for their support of people with disabilities. But the other States and Provinces (who, unlike Tampa, don't hire mentally retarded people for their on-air commentary) clearly state it was a dirty hit. Still not many clearly state Downie should have been kicked out of the game.

During the Flames-Canucks game on Sunday John Shorthouse, the local Vancouver announcer and his crew, made this statement after Darcy Hordychuk was clearly tripped by a Calgary player: "If you're a sniper you get the call but if you're Darcy Hordychuk, you don't."

So because Darcy isn't a leading goal scorer and odds say he wouldn't have scored anyway, we don't need to call penalties? Pretty ridiculous rationale. But it's that mentality that leads to the Referees thinking that Crosby wasn't seriously injured so Downie can keep skating. It applied to Ovechkin too who originally went to the box for a 10-minute penalty. It wasn't until the referees conferred and realized the severity of Campbell's injuries that they then tossed Alex to the dressing room.

Since you asked - (whatever, I'm telling you anyway) here's how I would fix the NHL's disciplinary problems.

Hold the team and Refs accountable. When Ovie boards someone again (and he will) and when Downie actually succeeds in tearing someone's knee apart (which he can do in his very next game if he wants since the NHL can't be bothered to suspend him) the team should be affected by the suspension just like they are by a penalty.

If you suspend a player then the team should have to play a man short until he returns to the ice. Killing a penalty for 2 minutes might be doable but 2 games at 4 on 5... not so much.

Coaches like the Capitals’ Bruce Boudreau might not be so quick to excuse his star player's dirty tricks then. (Murray actually rolled his eyes on the bench and pitched a fit as Campbell lay reeling in pain on the ice).

Furthermore the referees should also have it marked on their file when they fail to properly discipline a player - like the monster known as Steve Downie - and when the player actually succeeds in severely or permanently injuring a player the refs who gave him 2 minutes on a slew foot instead of a game misconduct should be fined. That way they'll be less likely to turn a blind eye or let someone off easy when it happens the first time.

And the number one way to really stop malicious, intentional attacks? Fire Colin Campbell.

Canada vs Russia Vancouver 2010

We knew this day would come. Canadians and Russians alike wanted this day to come. But wait... there's no medal on the line?!

Today - February 24 2010 - Team Canada and Team Russia will battle for a chance to make it to the semi-finals. Yep, this do or die game tonight, is only a quarter final game. That means one of the two biggest, greatest forces in hockey won't make it to medal contention.

And the question echoed around the world is "How the hell did this happen?"

My answer is Babcock. Mike Babcock is not coaching this team effectively and his decisions have been questionable at best.

Starting Luongo was okay in Game 1 because Norway wasn't a threat and it was Luongo's home ice. Both Brodeur and Luongo were in a slight slump in the NHL at the time the games were halted and they began this Olympic quest. Lou nailed a shut-out.

But we started slow against Norway - slower than we should have. The lines were being juggled but I understood, babcock was just trying to find the best fit. And he did when he lined up Crosby with Iginila. We took off. Iginila scored a hat trick! By the end of the game I felt like Team Canada had found their legs and lines. That we were starting the long haul for gold on the right foot.

Then is game 2 against Switzerland.... I couldn't find the Crosby-Iginla line that had worked so well. Babcock was mixing it up yet again. Why?! And Brodeur was in net. We started slow again. Too slow. It's like they're 3 year olds Babcock has awoken in the middle of the night and thrown them into skates and it's not until the 2nd period that they realize they're in the middle of a game. We took too long to get started and Jonas Hiller was too good. More importantly Brodeur was not good.

One of the 2 goals scored by Switzerland to tie the game, should never have gotten in. It was cheap and easy. Luckily Brodeur did stand on his head in a shoot out and Sidney Crosby - the best player on the face of the planet right now - finally woke up and scored on his 2nd shoot out shot. We won, but a tie isn't worth full points. Luckily, miraculously for us, Russia on the very same day also ened up in a shoot out with Slovakia and some how Alexander the Great, Number 8, didn't find the net. Russia lost.

My thoughts at that point were, okay, we'll kick the USA's Ralph Lauren wearing asses (really? Giant polo horses on your Winter Olypic gear makes sense?!) and move ahead of Russia and let them struggle for a medal shot.

But Kesler announced he hated Canadians (way to go douchebag, you still have to play IN Canada when this is done, for a team whose fans know ow to hold a grudge) and he wasn't kidding. The Americans came out full force and Ryan Miller was on fire. Babcock was switching lines like the players were icons on slot machines in Vegas. Crosby-Nash-Staal, Nash-Iginla-whatever. it was a gong show. Babcock had the nation fuming.

Brodeur sucked. No other words for it. Brodeur totally sucked. He spent the majority of the game flailing like a fish. And his "incredible puck-handling skills" landed a puck on the stick of a USA player who promptly put it in Brodeur's net. He should have been pulled after the 1st period but Babcock didn't do it. After a loss of 5-3 that shattered a nation's dreams, the chants could be heard throughout Vancouver.

"Luongo! Luongo! Luongo!"

Canada wants Bobby Lou. And as we fought German for a chance to stay in it, we got Roberto Luongo and he did great! His size, his flexibility and his experience in hard situations came through. For those who aren't a Canucks fan, here is why Luongo is the best goalie choice now that we're under the gun (why he should have stayed #1 goalie the entire series so far). Team Canada hasn't been playing to the best of their abilities. Luongo has consisitently gotten the Canucks to the playoffs and kept them in the playoffs - standing on his head, making save after save while the Sedin Twins fall asleep and the rest of the team shits the bed. It happens every freaking year. And he comes through.

Luongo is used to it. Luongo can do it.

Babcock seems to finally be sticking with what works. Crosby & Iginla were line mates once again against Germany and it worked. Luongo worked. Hell even Niedermyer showed up and made his presence known.

But Russia... was what we did against the Germans going to be enough against Russia? I can't say for sure. I know Russia has it's own weaknesses - defence primarily. I know that Ovechkin has had off days too in this tournament. I know Crosby has beaten Ovechkin more than once and can definitely do that again. I know Ovechikin is a dirty, sneaky son of a bitch who checks hard and dirty (Jager). I know if he pulls that again, we may actually have him ejected. Olympic rules are no purposeful hits to the head or neck. And no fights.

If Ovie doesn't get kicked out for an illegal hit, our boys (Pronger, Weber, Nash, Crosby) better keep their heads because Ovechkin will be pushing buttons as much as he will be making slapshots. No fights Pronger. No fights.

My dream would be that Ovie gets carried away and does something illegal and gets kicked out. That we come out and start the first period the way we've started the 2nd and 3rd in other games. Hard, fast, dominating. That Crosby and Iginla keep scoring together. That Luongo stands on his head. That Russia shits the bed.

That we win. Please hockey Gods may we win.

We can do it. It's going to be a dog fight but we can do it. I believe.