Friday, March 4, 2011

3 Things More Exciting than the Canucks - Preds

I’ve been wracking my brain all day long to try and find some really interesting and exciting facts about the Nashville- Vancouver game that occurred last night. But honestly? There isn’t any. The game was, IMO, the most boring one of the entire season.

I don’t want to talk about how the Sedins seem to be in a coma-nap, Kes is slumping, Samuelsson has lost his edge or anything like that. We all know this. It’s not news. And I personally would rather see them play like this in regulation than in playoffs so I say slump/sleep your way through March Canucks, but make sure the alarm is set to wake you up in mid-April. I don't care about the President's Cup. I want the Stanley Cup.

Since the only exciting things I could think to write about the Canucks-Predators game was the ref spraining his ankle and the cute little Maxime Lapierre/Shane O’Brien sandwich that happened in the corner of the boards, I’ve decided instead to write about the Top 3 Things Happening Last Night That Were MORE Exciting Than the Canucks Game

1) Jordan Staal got his hair cut
Yes that’s right. Last night Jordan Staal got rid of all that blonde, crazy winged madness he was calling hair. It’s unfortunate, as I was just starting to become obsessed with it. Staal's hair not only poked and popped it's way through every helmet or hat he wore, it also defied gravity. It stood straight off his head at 90 degree angles (even after 3 periods of sweaty hockey) and sometimes even appeared to actually be growing upward. Anyway, I’m fairly certain that the hairdresser who got to restructure that pretty mess had way more fun than anyone watching the Canucks game.

2) Ovie Tweeted
I followed him because I will follow ANY NHL player. Yes, I’m a twitterwhore. And although the Dirty Russian is one of my least favorite NHLers, I have to say I’m digging all his tweet pics, like the one of Phil Kessel sitting by himself during the All-Star draft. And the picture he tweeted last night of himself and Alexandre Semin celebrating Semin’s birthday – in an empty room with nothing but 3 helium balloons - looked more exciting than the Canucks game.

Side note: Between Ovechkin’s return and Charlie Sheen’s arrival my twitter feed now gives me the heebie jeebies. I don’t follow Sheen but everyone is tweeting his #winning #tigerblood crap so much that I feel like I follow him. If you’re THAT into Charlie Sheen and his f*ed up life philosphies, then get off twitter, go cover yourself in cocaine and sparkles and glue yourself to his vision board.

3) The Leafs beat the Flyers
This is not so much exciting as it is a sign of the apocalypse. But I find it worth mentioning because the monumental event means Canucks – despite being as exciting as a librarian on Ambien – are still first overall in the league.

Here’s hoping that the Canucks drink Red Bull before the LA game tomorrow.

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