Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Canucks Ducks Recap

Okay my lovely Verizon Wireless phone roams on Telus in Canada – for some reason this means I have absolutely ZERO reception in Rogers Arena (Rogers Arena, Telus roaming... Coincidence? Doubt it) So I couldn’t tweet everything I wanted to about the Anaheim-Vancouver game I attended.

Without further adieu here are my thoughts.

We Need Alberts
Alberts is not afraid to hit. In fact he seems to like it and he’s definitely good at it. Vancouver doesn’t have a lot of people who finish checks and we need someone. Alberts is our man. He was checking like a rockstar out there.

Hodgson Is Afraid
The kid has a lot of potential and he makes some smart plays but as I watched him it became very clear that he’s afraid to hit and be hit. He’s always looking over his shoulder and he never ever finishes a check. Maybe it’s his long list of injuries that makes him nervous or the fact that he’s just getting his NHL feet wet. Whatever it is, I hope he grows out of it or gets over it. He’s never going to live up to his hype or potential if he doesn’t.

The Refs Sucked Donkey’s Balls
The Ducks were hooking and tripping machines out there tonight and somehow the refs just couldn’t find their whistles. I shouldn’t be complaining about this because sucktastic reffage is what had us beat Chicago so maybe this is karma. Who knows?

I Know He’s Cute But I Wanna Bitchslap Raymond
The kid is making me mental. He just can’t do anything right. Even after he scores and you think the slump would be over – he somehow returns to the land of Suck the very next game. I keep telling myself it’s okay right now. That if he has to suck at some point now is better than April. But if he still sucks in April… we’re in trouble.

Ducks Net Was Wrapped in Saran Right?
Like in anything luck plays a part. We just didn’t have it tonight. There were so many shots that should have gone in and just completely did not. Daniel’s fan on the final shot with a second left – that was the perfectly unlucky end to the perfectly luckless night. It happens. It’s not the end of the world. We’ll bounce back from this.

Top Shelf! TOP Freaking SHELF!
McWhatsHisFace, the Ducks goalie, spent the entire game on his knees. And if you watch him in every game he plays that's what he does. he goes down - always down on his knees/pads. He lives on his knees. If he was a girl in high school he'd have been very popular. If the Canucks had taken more top shelf shots the score would have been very different.

I didn’t see it happen. I just saw him lying there seemingly unconscious and I started screaming like I was auditioning for a horror movie. I only saw it at home on replay. Getzlaf was interviewed and gave his best innocent eyes. His coach acted like it was no big deal. But yeah. It’s a BIG fucking deal. Getzlaf left his feet. And yes, Hamhuis turned away but that means that Getzlaf also hit him from behind – and Hamhuis no longer had the puck. The hit needs to be reviewed. I think Getzlaf should be suspended a game or at least fined. It was a dirty hit. Unintentional or not the damage was done and Getzlaf should pay. End of story.

Luongo’s Own a Magic Eight Ball & He’s Not Afraid to Use It
We lost. Luongo wasn’t in net which means his streak – not having lost in regulation since Dec. 5 – is still intact. This can only mean Lu has a Magic Eight Ball and he knows how to use it. When it says “It is not to be” Luongo “gets the flu”. I believe it.

Victoria’s 3 Stars of the Game
1 – Kesler for his 32nd goal in the dying seconds.
2- Burrows for getting us in the game.
3 – Bieksa for that lovely, frustration-filled after-the-whistle-hit. God he’s pretty when he’s angry.


  1. LOL your Awesome V Nice work !!!

  2. hilarious recap!!! love it! thanks for the post.

  3. Thanks guys! I am thinking of doing these mini recaps after every game. Glad you liked it!